Hands Around Lake Merritt

Was election night as bad as it gets, or is the worst still to come? That sick feeling of disappointment, of alienation from your nation, of watching a big part of my demographic identity declare itself in direct opposition to everything in my mind, spirit, soul... Yeah, Tuesday sucked.

But faced with that question, if the worst is still to come, I just can’t find my optimism. He appointed a known white supremacist as his chief advisor! I can’t wrap my mind around that. We have a president who wants neo-nazis at his right hand. And Americans are cheering for him. It’s...disgusting.

All last week was trying to keep the spine straight, the head above polluted water, clinging to the emails, texts, and conversations of support and shared awareness, but even when those come from around the planet they feel small when the world at large has gone insane.

Then Sunday. A beautiful warm autumn afternoon in Oakland, when an estimated 10,000 of my fellow Americans gathered to surround Lake Merritt with a message of peace, opposition to bigotry, and dedication to the ideals that made America great in the first place.

My mother, awesome woman that she is, took us to an anti-War protest for the first Gulf War, and I’ve found my way to a few others over the years, but this was the first time I’ve seen thousands of people united in somber silence, peace signs held up in the air, saying without words that we as a country are better than what our “democracy” puked up on Tuesday.

Oakland has seen nightly protests of broken glass and tear gas as small numbers of people manifest their opposition. But this was something altogether more inspiring. Children played tag on the grass, dogs in sweaters, neighbors sharing food and hugs while everyone from old school Berkeley hippies to post-Millennials (have they named them yet?) shared a space and a message.

God it felt good. Restorative. Reassuring. Fortifying. There are four long years of resistance to (let’s be honest) evil ahead of us, but there are a lot of kind and genuine souls in my peaceful army, and I have faith in us. I found my optimism. They gave it back to me.

I want to stop there. But I can’t shake one other feeling. Nor should I. It’s fear, not for me (entirely insulated by my privilege and status) but for the children of America, the minorities of America, the refugees and the immigrants of America, all the vulnerable of America. So many groups are threatened by Trump’s inhumanity, but on Sunday they came together in one little boy. The demonstration was dissolving by then, everyone heading home for dinner, and I felt wrung out. Not ready for the pain of seeing a child having cause to ask this question.

This is not who we are. This is not who I will ever be. And you and I both will do everything we can to protect this child, won’t we? I’ll see you on the barricades if we have to, because this child deserves to live in a country where he never has to ask this question again.

Figuring out how to live under a Trump presidency

This is not the blog I was planning to post.

After the initial wave of Denial, the “No way America would ever elect that” came the other stages.

Anger. “Those idiots wanted a protest vote against The System, but they’ve sunk the country instead of making their point in a way that would actually work!”

Bargaining. “If we give him a fair chance, don’t oppose everything, maybe he’ll retreat from his platform of insanity and merely be a Republican.”

Depression. That one occupied most of the last two days. Yesterday I discovered at 1:30 in the afternoon that I was still in my bathrobe.

And finally, Acceptance. “The office of the President demands such gravitas and dignity that he’ll shed his lunatic-candidate facade and become a grown up. He’ll act for the nation’s best interests. Because what kind of monster could have that power and abuse it so flagrantly?”

So I wrote up a nice optimistic post of acceptance and brotherhood. Compassion for the voters who have been left behind by the political system that listens to and thinks about only the wealthy, and confidence that we as a nation are stronger than one terrible president.

These are not the words of an intelligent person

But then I got up this morning and saw that Trump’s choice to head his EPA transition team is a well-known climate change “skeptic.” Climate change (in addition to being agreed upon by basically the entire scientific community and every developed country except us) is something the majority of Americans agree is happening, and is a problem.

So what did Trump do? He chose a climate change denier, clearly showing the same truth that’s always been blazingly clear about him: Donald Trump does not care what Americans think. That’s the nature of a narcissist, the beliefs and perspectives of other people do not factor into his thinking. That is not a president.

And a corollary of that is even scarier. Donald Trump does not care that his violent rhetoric of hatred is dangerous. This is the one of the things that keeps me up at night.

After the Brexit vote, which was far less explicit in its endorsement of racism and xenophobia, hate crimes in Britain rose 40%. That is truly troubling.

And might that happen here? It already is.

Those people who voted for a change from The System chose to endorse, justify, and encourage the racism, misogyny, homophobia and intolerance in our country, and innocent people are going to suffer for it. (And the same goes for those who did not vote, or gave Trump their “protest” vote via a third party candidate in any swing state.)

I’m a big fan of respecting other people’s opinions. It’s one of my core values. But Trump Brand Bigotry is not an opinion. “Mexicans are rapists” is not an opinion. “It’s okay to grab women by the p***y” is not an opinion. They are moral deficiencies. They are dangerous failures of the mind, soul, and character, they are outrages against the ethics and humanity of this country, and I will not respect them. Ever.

I want to preach cooperation and healing. I really do. But this person, this disgusting narcissist is not someone I can cooperate with. Maybe I’ll get there, maybe he’ll prove me wrong. But right now? He is not my president. Democracy is not something that happens every four years in a voting booth, democracy depends on the people of a nation standing up for what’s right every day of every year. So that’s what we should do.

I don’t know how to oppose Trump yet. Smashing the window of a local business as my fellow Oaklanders are doing tonight does not strike me as an appropriate response. But as long as Trump is what he has always been, I will oppose him in every way I can find.

Trump won. Now what? Dear god, now what?

What do you do when your country elects a racist, misogynist, morally bankrupt unsuccessful businessman as president and national humiliation?

Breakfast of the terrified. With yesterday's
tea bag from when the world made sense.

Well. I don’t know about you, but I had ice cream and wine for breakfast.

What next? Beats me. I’m tempted to stock up on canned goods in preparation for civil war. Or just start drinking. My brain keeps suggesting the names of countries around the world not populated with racists, misogynists, xenophobes etc. Or maybe I just give up hope for this country, it was good while it lasted, and laugh while the whole thing burns.

I find myself waiting for an FBI report to come out saying “Russia rigged the election! Don’t worry America, you ARE better than this!”

But no, time to face facts. Trump won. Against all reason or logic or moral consistency, Trump won. So how could this election be a good thing? There has to be a way. Some light of hope. A couple ways come to mind.

Even the Republican Party knows how awful Trump is. If they have any shred of decency left, they’ll oppose him from within. That could reclaim the GOP for sanity. For the principles they claim to support, but have strayed away from. They played a dangerous game when they harnessed the power of racism and ignorance through the Tea Party, and it’s turned out that they were tying themselves to rabid dogs. Will they cut the cord now?

And maybe it will be the salvation of the Democratic Party to lose this election. For too long the Democrats have been a substandard semi-Republican party. Lapdogs to Wall Street, unwilling to take real positions to improve the illnesses of this country, tax cuts and ignore the poor. Maybe now those political minds will wake up to the changed nature of reality. Stop pivoting and start telling the truth. Which would mean actually pursuing honest policies. That is, find their souls and their cajones. (Hint: look to Bernie.)

Maybe we on the left will demand they be better. Maybe We of the Sane will mourn for a moment, then organize instead of just bitching. And who knows, maybe it would even work?

For too long the political class in this country has ignored the masses and treated them like idiots, assuming they would never get their act together enough to threaten the status quo. After all, democracy is not a threat when the elite chooses the candidates. They dumbed us down until we were more focused on American Idol than America.

Remember this one? Paint an orange toupee on that mean fish

But that was their mistake. Because it taught too many of us to vote for the shiny, with no criteria for intelligence or substance. Those on top taught the middle to blame the low, and the low to blame the bottom. But they never expected the masses to demand the lowest intelligence, the most impoverished morality, the (let’s be honest) scum of the nation. The lowest common denominator, which has been the centerpiece of reality TV for 20 years. It’s only poetic irony that the fool they elected is actually one of those idiotic centerpieces.

Yesterday the flawed system collapsed. I would have preferred the tower had tipped over to Good, but either way, America today is different than America yesterday. The question now is what will we build for tomorrow?

Hillary headquarters SF on the eve of the election

I shouldn’t have been surprised. After all, this was the San Francisco headquarters for Hillary Clinton’s campaign, not some cluster of cubicles behind a crossroads gas station. It was three floors of bustling humanity of all ages, colors, shapes, and gaits. And at one point there were tacos.

Truth is, I hadn’t known what to expect when I agreed to make phone calls for Hillary. I had a vague daydream of getting real with some undecided voter, acknowledging that while she reflects some of the problems of our current political system and doesn’t make a great candidate, she’s extremely qualified to be a great president. I wouldn’t even go into how profoundly unqualified Trump is, but if they brought him up, well, maybe I’d offer some anecdote about how the rest of the world (outside of Russia) is terrified we’ll make the wrong choice and the USA has already lost standing because of his campaign, while poisoning our discourse at home. How he’s already doing the exact opposite of making America great again.

Okay, so I hadn’t thought that part out very well. I was counting on the moment to carry me through. Did I get that moment? How did it go?

The fact that finding these quotes meant weeding through
dozens of fake slander quotes is part of the problem.

Well. “You’ve reached the mailbox for 239…Please leave a message after the tone.”

I don’t blame swing state voters for turning off their phones en masse. Just as long as they don’t turn off their brains too.

I talked to a few people, offered help with polling place info and how to get there, though I don’t think I had any effect. But to be honest, that wasn’t my primary reason for going. I was there for a more selfish purpose.

This election scares the hell out of me. Donald Trump embodies the worst elements in our nation, all the racism, sexism, xenophobia, greed, and willful ignorance that stands in the way of our progress towards a better future. All taken to a degree of vileness that I never expected to see in my country, and gaining a level of support that shames me to every red, white, and blue cell in my body.

It’s scary. And fear is worse when you’re alone. I sought others who see the same blazing truth I do and are doing something about it. Whether calling voters is useful or not, these people were not willing to just stay home with fear and crossed fingers, the way I had. I went to Hillary’s headquarters to see the other volunteers. And I saw them.

The college student, next to a lady with pictures of her grandkids his age. Millennials in hipster hats and workers with calloused palms. A wide array of ethnic, cultural, and socioeconomic backgrounds, all responding to the same danger to our nation and our world. I was impressed. All the caring hearts in that building, giving their hours for something we all find important, for no pay or reward.

Except they did get a reward. A couple weeks ago, on a normal Thursday morning, they had an unexpected visitor. Who showed up with a surprisingly small entourage of a couple cars, stood in the small room and talked to everyone, incredibly personable and charismatic, genuinely interested in what everybody had to say. Regardless of the fact that she was standing in front of cardboard cutouts of herself, under a banner with her name, and her status as the focal point of all our hopes for the immediate future.

When Hillary visited those people, she imbued them with an optimism that is precious in our modern day, and especially important in this rancid season of hatred and narcissistic ignorance. And they held onto it, and paid some forward to me. And today, as I post this before heading straight to the polls to vote for Hillary, I need all the optimism I can get.

Good luck, America. Don’t screw this up.

I think I'll go call Florida

I have a friend who’s been phone banking for Hillary. No one’s seen her for weeks. This weekend she’ll be frantically making last-minute calls to swing states to pull for her candidate, and I deeply respect her passion and effort, actually doing something in the face of the looming disaster for America and the whole world that would be a Trump presidency.

But I have to wonder: has any human ever convinced another human of anything? I don’t mean to be gloomy, but if anyone ever has, I don’t think I’ve seen it. We’re not really a reasonable species. Least of all now, when one candidate is seen as irredeemably corrupt because she exists in our current system and the other is profoundly unqualified, unstable, immature, unintelligent-  Sorry, it’s hard to stop that list. The other candidate is….Trump.

But whether or not phone banking ever does any good, I have to wonder: this weekend? Is there anyone left in America who hasn’t made up their mind yet? If there’s anyone with any shred of doubt left, will a phone call help?

I want to find out. I want to see what a political phone bank call is like. I’m thinking Saturday afternoon. I’ll call Florida and ask them “So? Whaddya think?” I’m not going to try to convince anyone. Of anything. But I want to hear the opinion of a complete stranger in a battleground state.

Lordy help us. Battleground states. That was once a very real thing, 1861-1865. And more and more, it feels that way again. Every 2 or 4 years.

When people attack Hillary for being part of Obama's
administration, why doesn't she talk about the facts?

Can we indict the 24 hour news cycle on charges of treason? I’m getting sidetracked. But that’s the theme of this election, where the entire country was sidetracked from the issues. Yes, Donald Trump is a reprehensible human being, and should face charges of sexual assault. And plenty of people want to see Hillary in the defendant’s chair too. But as satisfying as revenge fantasies are, I’d rather we were talking about actual issues.

Wealth inequality. Systemic racism & sexism and how we’re going to ameliorate both. The military-industrial complex and a world making money off bombing Yemen/Syria/Afghanistan/Iraq/Pakistan (Libya? Are we still bombing Libya? How shameful that I can’t even keep track of who we’re bombing?) International trade agreements that benefit the mass of Americans but pose a threat to continued progress, and whether backing away from the TPP would simply allow China to fill the void. Climate change. The fact that we are the only country on Earth still “debating” it as a theory. Nevermind, let’s not talk about that particular shard of shame. You get my point.

If Trump supporters were actual Republicans,
this would matter. (*Only reflects his first term.)

I’d rather talk about issues, because it would be better for the country. Coincidentally, it would be better for my candidate, since she has policies beyond “I’m incredible. Build a wall. Everything’s your fault and rigged. No. Obama founded ISIS.”

So, tomorrow evening, I’m going to try to hear about issues. Will I? Or will I hear periodic character attacks and frequent dialtones? Can’t wait to find out. And then, after a little dip of such demoralizing abuse….I’m going to go get some ice cream.

And maybe a bunker.

Happy International Day of the Girl, Trump notwithstanding

Daesh (ISIS), Al Qaeda, Boko Haram, Al Shabab, the Taliban, all these despicable groups afflicting our species are obsessed with suppressing and oppressing women and women’s rights. They’re disturbing to learn about, but remind me of my pride and gratitude that I don’t live in a society so morally reprehensible and downright inhumane. (Because last I checked, women are humans.)

But then I come back to the US, where a racist, morally malformed demagogue routinely uses words like “bimbo, dog, fat pig” and the ever-reliable C-word to describe women, and yet, confoundingly, is still treated as a valid human being to exist on our national stage. I’m baffled by that. And I’m baffled as to why this latest tape is such a big deal. Was anyone surprised to hear him talk like that? He’s been talking like that for decades.

So are we no better than those desert addictions to misogyny? Of course we are. We’re a desert society too (are we not a Judeo-Christian, People of Abraham, monotheistic culture of relative intolerance with an emphasis on war and conflict? You betcha we are. Read more here) but we’ve made some exceedingly slow and agonizingly painful progress from our more barbaric cousins.

I doubt she said this, but I agree wholeheartedly anyway

The most obvious example right now is the remarkably qualified (and preposterously vilified) alternative to Trump’s hideous immorality. She has a long career of public service, bipartisan productivity, and actually listens to other people. All three of which are profound contrasts to, and advantages over Candidate Blumpy.

And in the darkness of his remarks, I'm reminded of my fantasy of all the women in America refusing to vote for Trump, and we watch the whole country unite in rejecting misogyny, racism, ignorance, and immaturity. Now there's an image of hope. Of making America greater than it has been so far.

So there is much work to be done, but much incredible progress being made, so today, International Day of the Girl, I’m going to go ahead and feel optimism for the West, for America, and for our species, that we’re going to move away from the sort of self-destructive ideology that puts half of ourselves lower than the other half. Because that? That’s just barbaric.

So many good choices for charities. I chose Plan International this year.

I still can't comprehend supporting Trump

Let’s call them Brad and Linda. I met them a little while back, found them generally likeable people, some good jokes, some less-lovely behaviors, but we got along. They live in Texas, have a daughter, and are retired. Then something fascinating. I learned that they are Trump supporters. I was delighted.

What about you, Tongue Cat?
Do you understand?

A couple weeks ago I blogged about the hope Trump gives me, and only after I posted it did I think to check my facebook friend count to see if anyone wouldn’t read it before un-friending me. Because the fact is I don’t really know anyone who supports the global political clusterfuck of idiocy that is Donald Trump.

I see them on TV. They’re...well...they’re idiots. A profoundly dangerous tide of anti-intellectualism has been growing in America for years, but Trump? He’s a whole new low. Just...stunning. A level of idiocy, immorality, and statements so preposterously infeasible and irresponsible that they damage the standing of the US every time they’re repeated.

So how on earth can a third of Americans support him? I am utterly baffled. But here, in Brad and Linda, was my chance to find out. Because Brad and Linda, for all their peculiarities, clearly had brains in their heads. They had a fundamental level of intelligence that I expected to preclude support for the walking imbecility of Trump. I stocked up on patient observation to figure it out.

It took awhile. The first clue came when they suggested that Trump disclose who he’d put in his cabinet. “For example he could put The Black Guy in charge of medicine.” I wasn’t sure who they meant until they remembered The Black Guy’s name. “Carson, Ben Carson.”

A relic of Sri Lanka's past, or a glimpse of America's future?

The Black Guy? That seemed odd. Nevermind the idea of having an Attorney General with peculiar opinions about pyramids.

But better understanding was close behind, in a story they told about their daughter. “Well, we found out she was dating some guy, you know, with a funny last name. So we put a stop to that of course.” I didn’t ask which ethnicity that funny last name belonged to. Didn’t matter.

It wasn’t that they thought Trump’s policies were strategically sound. Or that they figured a terrible businessman with a track record of fundamentally un-American values and actions would be a good leader. And it wouldn’t matter if I pointed out the contradiction between the statements “I like him because he says what he means” and “I don’t worry about his crazy comments because he doesn’t mean most of what he says.”

In Sri Lanka it's laundry detergent.
In America it's apparently still a political platform.

They were just racist. How terribly disappointing.

Racism like theirs isn’t an opinion, or an ethos, or a belief structure. It’s just a moral failing. A default of the intellect and human spirit in favor of small-mindedness and a refusal to address actual problems.

And as I watch Trump "talk to black voters" in a way that is not remotely actually about black voters, but is clearly an attempt to convince white voters that he's not racist (click here), it's all just so...sad. Maddening. Vile. And televised.

So in the end, I am no closer to understanding how anyone with a brain could possibly support Donald Trump. If you know the answer, please let me know.

Donald Trump gives me hope

Election night is a weird sort of strangled Super Bowl. Only instead of a trophy the winner gets to influence the country for four years, but as spectators we just watch to see if Our Team wins.

Terrible, terrible mindset.

This team mentality, “My party right or wrong” is a fundamental part of how our political process got so off track. By any objective assessment, Trump is at best uninformed, but far more likely a narcissistic danger to the wellbeing of this country, economy, and safety throughout the world. Voting for him because he’s your team is just irresponsible.

He wants to give nuclear weapons to more countries, including multiple involved in the volatile South China Sea conflict, and Saudi Arabia, apparently unaware that if it’s okay to give nukes to one’s allies, then everyone will have them, because everyone is allies with someone. That’s just ignorant, dangerous, and in the fundamental lack of awareness of what a nuclear weapon really means, it’s sociopathic.

I find GIFs annoying, but this is how
I feel when Trump talks about NATO

Trump invited the most dangerous country on Earth to engage in cyber espionage against the sitting US Secretary of State because she’s his political opponent. That’s both immoral and treasonous. And again, shows a complete lack of understanding of the things he’s playing with plus a sociopathic willingness to cause immense harm for his own short-term gain.

Using misdirected fear and hatred to blame entirely the wrong people because racism is easy. Not my America.

Opposing our fundamental right to free speech, both in the courts and at demonstrations, even inciting violence to stop it, that’s just un-American. No, that’s fundamentally uncivilized. Punch someone if they disagree with you? I thought we left that attitude in the caves.

Did he actually just say Obama
founded ISIS? Repeatedly?

Suggesting/joking about assassinating his political rival. Again, fundamentally against our shared values. It’s not that I just disagree with his policies, I disagree with Trump’s very notion of humanity. And what’s so scary is that I could continue this list all day. It’s like John Oliver said, any one of these incidents would be like stepping on a nail, but he has so many repetitions of insanity, immorality, and downright idiocy that we just sort of cruise across the top of a bed of nails without any managing to really penetrate.

But that’s all pretty dreary. So where’s the hopeful part?

Trump is spectacularly unqualified and inadequate to the job of president. And in the bizarre world of PR campaigns and willfully misinformed voters, that alone might not be enough to stop him. But he’s also fundamentally un-American. That might matter.

Hating Hillary is a like a religion for many, while she just leaves others uninspired. I get why people don’t love her. But here’s the thing: After decades of rampant gerrymandering and $billions of Koch brothers money, the Republicans have congress pretty well locked up. Republicans in congress aren’t going to let Hillary get anything done.

Or just the primaries

Unfortunately, a vote for Hillary is a vote for the status quo. Our congressional system of gridlock means she won’t be able to build any new structures. But while it takes a lot of people working together to build a house, it only takes one cheeto-colored madman to burn it down.

A vote for Trump is a vote for incomprehension, intolerance, volatility (we don’t want to see how that one reflects in the markets), and immoral narcissism.

Personally, I have more faith in America than that. And that’s where the hope gets in.

Because imagine election night...and we all watch...as the entire map...turns blue.

The entire country, rejecting Trump’s brand of hatred and ignorance, uniting to vote for sanity, even if you don’t like the policies.

What would that do for America? After years of demonizing each other, Karl Rove’s divisive politics, partisan vitriol and childish grandstanding, to be united, as a country, for sanity.

That idea. That idea gives me hope. So thank you, Mr Trump, for being so spectacularly unqualified and unstable that you might just push us into realizing how much our shared humanity matters.